the last days

well don’t know how much longer i have.

i’m alone and have become very depressed lately, that i feel i am just “occupying” til i’m called “HOME”

I AM way too needy as it just kept getting worse n worse, I’ve lived same home almost 30 yrs and stuff wears out.

lost my central heat yrs bk and heated by wood only for so maany years i’ve come to hate it and it’s soooooo much work.

toilet has problem flushing, and backs down unusable. then roof leaks runs into LR where my desk is and in bathrooms.

this whole house is in so need of repairs but life hasn’t been kind since late 80’s so lack of funds, and illness has taken it’s tole on me.

I’ve driven all off and now die alone paying help to mail stuff and shop for me, this is NOT what i’d ever expected in my last days.

And this is not from drugs or whatever, its from BAD BLOOD either dentist or hosp mid 70’s when blood wasnt tested.

I just can’t take much more im at my breaking point, and i’m so sensitive to what others think that i suffer. I AM my worst enemy, BUT I NEVER wanted to hurt anyone.

Life has NOT been fair for me since birth, and life has had its fair share of crashes, i can’t take anymore.. and nobody care. so whats next

I DO believe in RAPTURE as it is an only escape.BUT if i could speed it up i would, as I just dont FIT anymore and my lifes over, don’t worry i didn’t miss out on much. I have no desires left except to have a clear 100% om my sales record PROVING i AM an honest person who’s messed up/suffering.

I pray nightly that I don’t wake up. I have lived my life to a different drummer BUT i had ppls aroun d me at all time. I am one of the most creative ppls u will ever meat, and a character, for that I am thankful to the Father for making me UNIQUE but i still wanna know WHY ME as we all do

life is NOT fair.

I’m broken beyond repair so whats next

any encourage ment is welcome as i’m at end of my ropes, and this is a cry for help one last time


About dagutzyone

unigue... Gutzy, Eccentric, Eclectic, Artisan, Desert rat, lover of nature and photography I'm a twitter tweeter.. and a flickr lover stop by say hi
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