Went to town looking like this… BAD

gotta get this out n posted to my journal…of life
I shut down years back….

Couldn’t deal with life and i went into seclusion, isolated myself away, for past 5 + yrs
It was great didn’t have to deal with much and was ill on top of it.

then about 4 yrs ago truck took a dump so i went deeper inside, shut out all, once in awhile a friend would come by take me to mkt. Learn once again how to merely survive. Been a long hard road and now i’m so lookin fwd to goin HOME soon.

yesterday I went to mkt like this! was embarassed as i ran into an old friend i’ve been out with a few times and havent seen in years.
I sooooo needed to just talk to a live person …only a few mins and got misty eyed , but sure felt good.
i miss that, was always a people person .

now health wise its weird, days are strange and have no-one left…. so working on ancestry again
can’t afford the monthly rate so do free. very limited
am learnin thing n its occupying my time cause my money tree on etsy dried up, but i did get to set myself uo so next spree when i can’t function due to the hep i can have access to a select few or order what i need.

that was a blessing and some my jewels n treasures went all over the world and found good homes.
Sales so slow and i still have to pay cost to be there
so got depressed n decided id occupy my time with something so i couldn’t think bout real life crap,
do my gardening/yard and pets and on net 24/7 but not for social, just connect with friends and as needed for whatever.
its my only contact with the world.

I learned how to order things on line and was better than paying someone to take me.
now i have a helper thru IHSS and get to go shop more, is such a blessing.
BUT i need a person who will allow me to unload n or chat , empty out stuff, or share my stuff……
proably drive a few away cause i just wanna share everything and boy can i type, (bad spelling n typos, but we can make it out).

I’m so ready to go HOME, after 3 times to set everything up and all the failures, so broken no good to anyone now days and taking up space just occupying my time, while living into total survival, and boy did life change.

to be continued

Image

Advertisements

About dagutzyone

unigue... Gutzy, Eccentric, Eclectic, Artisan, Desert rat, lover of nature and photography I'm a twitter tweeter.. and a flickr lover stop by say hi
Image | This entry was posted in thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s