… thoughts n this “system”, and how it can kill ya….

remember way back yrs ago I said after we got all the cuts anyways, said i’m fallin apart and alls going bad and i had no coverage, esp the dental…
I kept doin the antib’s and fiqured it wasn’t workin due to hep n system, and i’d pop it n drain somewhat and go one… well other night when i sent you this pic, i tried to open it to drain and found it wasn’t much juice, mostly mass.. you know what i mean… the two good u see are caps,  so we know this… i removed all i could and washed with salt.
but i told ya its past fixing, so long no coverage and the BS over antib’s n drs chit…
ok now the eyes are goin, left side like gritty or ? blurry, and no damn eye coverage in all the years either, so again time was against me, can’t fix now..
so thats least 3 more things I can thank this medical/dental profession on, the whole “SYSTEM really”
hep C
ability  to see…
ability to eat right…
(….. life n cut backs …) n being stranded n in isolation
 ALL added to the already long list… well then started also thinking,
dad died of a very rare bone cancer, disintegrate  his bones, then only like 10 ppl ever had Dr said
 then his bros daughter, my cousin , got a rare virus and enlarged her heart/liver/lungs… n was most rare also…
 then thinking deeper, when in high school workin for that dentist found out i can’t take Vit C… weird, rare there also… brings on the migraines.. even the Energ C…
 and as for this all the rest, now i’m near end, and and yet still function cause i MUST in order to survive… shakin head..
 survive for what.. to survive some more… well least outta all the garbage here, some treasures are still being shared, and talants being used, on the good days at least, as I’m able.
 sure would like some answers before i can’t see/eat/walk/get up….
 it’s all winding down seems as planned, my hands tied, all things against me and i’m ready.
 ran local ads to trade/barter any items i have up for sale, for food n needs … whatever… been giving things away, slowly but i’m doin it, My stuffs all over the world now past 2+ years and my pics are world wide on flickr, even 100+ made Explore thru time..
and i still craft and share  and do all the web stuff n shop.. so i’d say i’m occupying and active till .. uh..?? Big guy decides or i decide to do the right to die w/dignity act…
all depends what else happens i guess…
 i’m not sad tonight, i fixed me dinner and took some pics and did various things and made some mufins, and yet i can’t get up over the 82 again
i still thin by lookin at my bag of bones, my body can not live on its self much longer..
least the arthritis isn’t bad right … migrains calm’d also
 no way to shop for needs n food n dogs so gotta do what i can.. death wish or not, dont wanna suffer… NO MORE .. I pray nightly that I wont wake up.. n get up n function best i can depending on levels of stress and whats happening.. hard to say here.
i have that old soul/pioneer spirit so i fig my death won’t be normal either.. weird genes/dna warrior bodies, strong constitutions, survivalist to max and german/french/irish to boot.. that alone tells the story. I just know i’m bout done here, it’s close to closing time… the light have none gone dimmer…

the “system” will kill you..

con’t.. till next brain outburst…

About dagutzyone

unigue... Gutzy, Eccentric, Eclectic, Artisan, Desert rat, lover of nature and photography I'm a twitter tweeter.. and a flickr lover stop by say hi
This entry was posted in journal, life, survival. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s